Sexual Issues

Because people rarely talk about their Sex and many of us are carrying the weight of cultural sexual shame or repression, we often fail to realise that it's really normal to experience challenges with Sex. 

If all is not perfect in the bedroom, you are not alone.

Many women experience a tight or painful vagina, Vaginismus, a lack of lubrication, an inability to ask for what is desired sexually, unpleasent sexual experiences, body shame, an inability to feel desire for sex, lack of pleasure, feeings of being frozen and unable to speak or the knowledge on how to be sexual and keep themselves safe.

Many men feel an incredible pressure to perform, initiate, be the dominant partner or to second guess their partner's needs and can struggle with erectile function, premature ejaculation, an inability to love and be sexual with the same woman, difficulty expressing or accessing their emotions or fear of asking for what they truly desire.

Our Sexuality can feel constricted in lots of different ways.

• Orgasm can feel too quick, too laborious, or completely illusive or unavailable.
• Many of us feel alone and unsexy or unlovable, whether or not we are in a relationship.
• Some of us feel unconfident in the bedroom, especially if we’ve never had a consistent sexual partner, feel inexperienced, have received negative feedback or went into a long-term relationship young.
• Some of us don’t believe in our own capabilities to break old patterns and find ourselves in a truly fulfilling sexual relationship with another or with ourselves.
• Some of us feel pressured by our partners to do things we don’t want to do or feel rejected by our partners sexually.
• Most of us struggle to relax sufficiently to reach the levels of pleasure that is our birthright as a human being.
• Few of us can talk comfortably about our genitals.
• Most of us have one or more parts that are ashamed to be sexual.
• Sometimes sex just isn't a part of our lives and we feel dulled, disconnected, in denial, closed-off.

In therapy we get curious about what our bodies are trying to achieve in our contractions.

In Psychosexual Somatics® Therapy  (PST) we don't see dysfunction, we see protection. We trust the body is doing it's best to keep you safe and just needs a little support to learn to relax and open up to the joys of connected sexuality.

We take the leading Psychosexual expertise and combine it with a deep inquiry into your personal body experience to allow the body to speak it's truth so you can learn to build safety for yourself, and work towards increasing capacity for pleasure and play.

Your body is not your enemy, it's a surivial genius.

In Internal Family Systems we look at the polarisations between the parts that want to be sexual or to connect and the ones that don't. We learn why we're pulling away from ourselves or our partners or which parts of ourselves are in conflict with each other about the best ways to keep us safe. We might explore the different feelings between lustful parts and attaching parts, angry parts and needy parts, confident parts and shy parts. In time we support the system to relax so there is more space for feeling and more strength for tolerating the vulnerability of being truly intimate with another.